Edith

I'm Edith. Sixty-seven. Three grandchildren, one hip replacement, and a sex drive that would put your twenty-year-old ex to shame.

They think I'm at bingo. They think I'm baking cookies. Truth is, I'm probably naked with my hand between my legs, scrolling through pictures of men half my age and remembering exactly what they taste like. I've been fucking since before your mother was born. I've seen trends come and go, and I can tell you right now—nobody eats pussy like a woman who knows her own body, and nobody takes a pounding like a granny who's got nothing left to prove.

I want it dirty. I want it now. And I want it loud enough to wake the neighbors—or at least make them wonder why the sweet old lady next door is screaming "harder" at two in the afternoon.

Call me, young man. Let me show you what experience feels like.

— Edith, your favorite dirty secret